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Well, I watched it, and liked the first ten minutes.
As a Transformers film, it was an abomination. As a film about robots fighting... it was very boring.
CG just doesn't impress me, unfortunately.
The real bits were good... I enjoyed the tanks flying through the air and exploding. As soon as the hideous, spindly-looking Lego Bionicle CG robots came on screen and the camera started jerking around and shaking so that I could'n't see anything for any of the actions scenes, I kind of switched off. The final battle in the city was a confused mess, with no focus whatsoever and the camera shaking around as though held by a drunken child.
Since when did massive alien war machines swing about the place like monkeys? Where were the characters? When "Megatron" (who looked and sounded nothing like Megatron) appeared, all he said was "I am Megatron" and that was all the characterisation he got.
Awful film. If only they'd let the guy who did the Silent Hill movie direct it instead. He would have actually watched an episode of the original show for reference... something Michael Bay obviously didn't do.
I'm going to make a movie about President Lincoln. I don't know anything about American history, but that doesn't matter. I won't look at any history books. In the film, Lincoln will be played by Lucy Liu, and will be a kung fu Japanese lesbian ninja. And when people complain that the characters look and act nothing like the real ones did, I'll just tell them that Transformers was a massive success, so I thought I'd try the same approach.
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And you know what? This movie would have been MUCH better if they'd named it something else, and NOT Transformers. I couldn't tell the good guys from the badguys unless it was Bumblebee and Optimus Prime. I hate the fact they didnt' use Frank Welker as Megatron, and didn't use the guy who does Star Screams voice *I think it's Micheal Dobson, don't quote me xD* I was appauled and offended.
The only Transformer that sounded good was Optimus Prime, and that's cause he HAD his original good actor. I was very irritated that the token 'Black' transformer was killed too, I thought that was tacky and uncalled for.. and just plain retarded.
People who don't know the true and original transformers will argue to the GRAVE that you have no freakin' clue what you're talking about and that this movie was the greatest ever made. That just shows how ignorant they are.
Okay.. guess I'll shut up now XD LOL
I was starting to feel like i was alone and under siege for the whole not liking it thing. (Z0MGZoRZ D4 CHK SPe3leD S13G3 R173!!1!!!!11!!!!1!!)
And I have to say, I liked the film despite it being one big commercial for different products ^^ But I was never gonan compare this to G1, there's no point - I just enjoyed it for what it was.
All of these stupid looking purple faced robots with English accents who turn into tanks and whatnot aren't megatron. I could call my ass "The Rock" but few people would actually accept it as the wrestler of the same name.
Least they got him down as a totally merciless character, which is what he always was. I'm sad that <spoiler> died in it, but it showed how cruel Megs is supposed to be. (Yes, I don't wanna be the one to spoil it for anyone)
Fact is all the designs were nothing like G1, but least they kept them all with similar designs. I like what they did with them, really gave them an alien look which is exactly what they are.
Can't wait to see how Lucy frees the slaves XD
Basically, I was hoping for it to be one of two things. Either A: A crazy ass mecha fest of a movie, or B: A good action movie.
In the same respect, you should never really review a film against all other movies. That is where movies like Freddy Vs Jason fall over with critics etc. It is not a great movie when compared to others, but in the genre that it is in, it is a great movie.
So, as a Transformers movie? How does it rate?
Poo basically. The moment they decided to make all transformers Fords, that is the moment they basically bent the franchise over a table and pwn'd it really. If you ever wanted to show disrespect for something, really make it suffer, that is the way to do it. It is not a matter of whether you like the new look or not, or the voices etc. When they took the choice of money of making a good movie, even though they knew it would be a block buster and cover it's costs, you knew they really just didn't care.
From a crazy mech movie point of view? It is poor. Why? Well, theIronArtist pointed it out and I am glad I am not alone in thinking this. There were a couple of scenes in the trailer which showed promise, they were also good in the movie. The helicopter bit near the start and the bit on the motorway where the robot chops the buss up, hits Prime etc. At those points, the mechs looked and more importantly moved like something big and heavy.
Where as for the rest of the film, they seem to be some nimbly ninja's who are capable of defying all forms of physics. I don't ask for realism, but at least consistency.
Okay, so the last resort. Is it a good action movie? Come on, Bay did Bad Boys II, which from a male humour point of view, was a funny and lively film.
Was it a good action movie? No.
Why? Many a scene like the pod race in Star Wars. e.g. long and completely pointless. The fact that Shake'n Stevens was holding the camera.
The fact that there was zero character development on any level, be it person or robot. 2 hours of movie and what do we know about the soldiers? What do we know about Starscream or practically any of them. I can imagine the screenplay notes now: Soldier No. 3's character = He will speak in Spanish at many points in the movie, even though people tell him not to. Yup, that is it, that is your lot, that is 100% of your character development. Or the guy with the baby. What is his character... oh yes, he has a baby.
Compare that to Aliens, where you have more characters and developed far better.
The blatant brand ho'ing was just horrible. There really is no need for it, especially when the camera angles are dedicated more to the showing of brands than the film itself.
Then their is the joyous toilet humour. If you want toilet humour, watch Waiting..., that is toilet humour done well. What was in Transformers was just embarassing.
I think I will leave it there, but I could happily just rip this film apart on soo many levels which have nothing to do with the fact that it is Transformers.
What a wasted opportunity